'Til you can't.

This week has been the hardest I have ever had to face in my entire life. And I dont say that lightly.

I am not one who sits still. Ever. I am constantly on the go. Having to sit in one place is murder. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. I am non weight bearing on my left leg for 6 to 8 weeks. I find the more I "rest" the better my fractrues feel. I am in more pain when I do too much walking or am too active for the day. At this point today, it has been two weeks since I took my flight in the helicopter. I can feel my bones healing, and I am not quite as sore, but I have "twinges" when I twist wrong, or take a wrong step. I don't have to take so many pain meds, and none of the really heavy dose stuff since the first week. I am feeling good and healing everyday. It is going to be a journey and its not the summer I had in mind for myself. Please feel free to call, text, or stop in and visit. I am bored out of my wits. Thank goodness for Downton Abbey. 

Some pretty flowers the boys gave me. So sweet!

The morning I took my flight. Grandma got Lillian a cowgirl hat. She loved it!

Some pictures of the helicopter. Not sure how to feel about these....

First hospital stay where I wasn't in to have a baby. I guess I was really lucky. I had a huge "laceration" where Grace stepped on me and it knicked the artery. The doctor that stitched me up said it was too the bone, and could put his whole hand in my cut. The cut went down to the bone. I missed my kiddos terribly and Brandon as well when I was in the hospital. 

Had some cutie visiters!

The next monday Conner had treatment, so Brandon and Mick took him. I think they felt torn. But they sent me pictures all day!
Conner gets to see and do all sorts of cool things. The pediatric floor gets visits from the Zoo and magicians, and all sorts of neat things. Conner met a turtle!
Loading up to go HOME!
Lillian and I Snoozing. 
Listening to the kiddos read. Healing. And watching them play outside. So good. 
This was a day ALLLL my kiddos where there. All my kids, and Koye, Ari, Brantlee, Jordy, and Jasper. I love being a mom, and that is closly seconded by being a Aunt. I love them all!

I will never stop being thankful for all the people who showed up for me. Makes me remember how truly lucky I am!! I am so loved and my village is vast and beautiful! Forever grateful!!

Now that I can't do anything I really truly advise to anyone who will listen to go and do what you love. I have had members of my family tell me to give it up, riding horse and doing what I love. It has been dangerous every day I have ever rode. There has always been risk. There is risk in every thing  you do, walking down the stairs, to riding in the car. Don't let fear stop you from doing what you love. I wish I could get back on my horse full cowgirl style. I will always be the "you fall off, you get back on" girl. I wish I could test my bravery, and try, but I am not healed enough yet. I think the thing that really bothers me is not knowing, and I am scared I am going to be scared, when it comes right down from it. But that won't be the last of me, no matter how slow I go. I have never been much of a spectator, more of a participater, so getting pushed into the corner to "sit and rest" is torture. I miss doing all the things I used to do. Just walking to get the mail would be awesome at this point. Which makes me feel pathetic, but I think I just need to give myself tiime. I know god is teaching me something, what it is exactly, I don't know yet. But I will have this faith. 

With all that said, please come and visit me. I would love to see everyone, and it a nice change to talk to people. Brandon has been so busy, he doesn't have much time right now. 


Conner's Corner
I went with a week after I got hurt to Conner's treatment. It went really well. He has been getting checked into the picu because he keeps having reactions to it. The nurses in the PICU, they know how to get it right 💓 These two cuties had the nurses fussing over them all day! We are so happy that he doesn't have to have treatment for two weeks, and gets some time off. 

Well thanks everyone for reading! Lots of love!


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