Thinking about our Orange Tree

 

Hey guys its been a while!

 This year has been so much kinder to us. Still many bumps in the road. Still some heart ache. I look at them from as redirections from god. Just a nudge in the right direction, and a reminder to stay humble and know that not everthing is in my hands. He reminds me. He knows my heart and works through me. 

 Today I wanted to talk to about regrowth. When we were in rochester, the LP tank ran empty and all the plants in our house died. January 2023 and it was below. The orange tree that I have had since I was a little girl died. All the leaves fell off and I was so sad. I just remember crying in the living room and feeling so stupid for doing so. It was a tree. My son was safe and home and he was going to be alright. And there I was crying over a silly orange tree.

Now looking back I realized that it was such a tramatic event in my life, that it was just my way of unloading all the emotions from being home. And feeling the loss of the life we had before Conner's tumor. It is ok to grieve. Even if its just a orange tree. 

But the story didn't end there. I took this picture this summer, and tears ran down my cheek as I remembered that night we got home. It was such a cool moment when I slowed down and realized that I am so blessed! My son is here, whole, and healthy. My family is all together and we are living on the farm of our dreams. This tree isnt dead, and didn't die, even though it looked like it was going to. I didn't take any pictures because I was so sad about it. The branches where bare and all the limbs were dead. I was so sad/hurt I was ready to take the old root out of the pot and be done with it. 

 

Brandon talked me out of it. What was the harm in waiting he said. We will cut off the ugly dead branches back to the stump and wait. I agreed and we waited. I couldn't contain my excitement as that stump started to sprout new tiny branches. Those tiny little branches grew into the orange tree we have today. Brandon and I both agree that it looks bigger than it did before. And you can still see the dead branch, much like the scars we carry, it reminds us of the struggles weve been through. 

I try to remember my orange tree when things look dark. When the leaves of the tree fall off. When everything looks dead.------ Wait. Life comes again. 

And with that being said, I want to tell everyone that Conner's tumor has gotten smaller and he is happy, healthy, and thriving. Here are some comparison pictures! 

In Dr. Schwartz's hand writing. The top is the size it is now, and the bottom on this picture is the size it was in april. I think the tumor got the point and it has accepted its eviction notice! Haha! Thanks for reading, Love you all!